4 Comments on “Most people think Wilford Brimley’s nickname is “The Brimster.” It’s actually “Wilfey.””
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He’s also known for having the same mustache, accent, and character in virtually every movie he’s ever done.
Brimley, or Wilfey, was born on a hardwood floor in the dead of winter. He was the youngest of 25, all of them already out of the house by the time he was born.
The doctors couldn’t explain his condition: he was born with a mustache and was wearing cowboy chaps already. He refused to eat baby food, so his parents had to feed him horse grain. This only thickened his mustache and his belly.
Later on while he was young, they took a wagon, since they couldn’t afford a car, and brought Wilfey to the local town auditorium. There Wilfey performed the best rendition of Oklahoma anyone has ever seen at the age of 8. With a full mustache and now double chin, Wilfey legally changed his named to Wilford Brimley in an effort to get the younger ladies to look at him. But this back fired immediately and all the ladies 55 years and older were flocking to Wilford.
Brimley left town and did a stint as a stunt double for Hollywood, sold Italian ice at the local park, and was a frequent poetry reader at the local bar. Soon people were beginning to notice this 17 year old man and brought him into Hollywood.
While in Hollywood, Brimley set off to be a custodian and one day was in charge of cleaning the horses stalls for a cowboy movie. Brimley needed to move a horse to clean out its stall and so he mounted the horse. The second he did, he felt an immediate connection to the horse and they became one, or so it seemed. In that same instance, a director was walking by of that movie and noticed the double-chinned, mustache bearing and pot belly man sitting on a beautiful stallion and immediately signed him a contract to be in the next scene for his movie.
So the story begins. Brimley set off on a career full of mediocre western films that went straight to TV, with titles like “Rodeo Girl” and “Blood River” and “The Good Old Boys”.
Back when we used to play pinochle on Wednesdays, I’d always call him “Diabetes Brimley.” But, you know, pronounce it Die-uh-BEE-tus. It was all well and good til one day he couldn’t take it anymore and beat me with a tubesock filled with his own kidney stones. Hurt like hell, but he learned me some manners I suppose.
Both are very intriguing stories and I believe them because Ol Wilfey is a man of mythic proportions. I heard his parents were actually Walruses. That’s just what I heard.
He tried to use his diabetes lines in the famous family movie, “Ewoks: The Battle for Endor”, but George Lucas is anti-diabetes and threatened to give him the Jar-Jar Binks treatment if Brimley didn’t shut up about diabetus.
He also required them to feed him fish all the time, dead herring to be exact.